Saturday, August 26, 2006

Long overdue relinquishment

It is so tiring, all the perpetual elation followed by disappointment. I should have relinquished long long ago, yet a possibly hopeful prospect kept me hanging on. Rationality tells me otherwise, but I never found enough determination to face my own common sense. All I can say is thank you for the experience. I've grown and learnt much, and I've had happy times too.

But I'm getting out of this viscious cycle. Period.

Monday, August 21, 2006

Music lover's heaven

Music Genome Project:

www.pandora.com

This is one of the best innovations on the internet. It is essentially a free online radio which you can choose which type of music to be played. Although it focuses mainly on mainstream music, it has got quite a good new age collection too. =)))

Studying really can make one void of emotions. Heh.. recently, I encountered some complicated issues-of-the-heart, yet simply too tired to think, not less communicate it out. I'm not being very fair, by using the excuse of exams and studies to cover up for these matters, yet... sighs. Dunno la.. Maybe I am the one complicating things for myself...

Life is so ironic and illogical. Yet when it comes down to matters of the heart, logic should hardly be adhered to. I need mouthfuls of salt to swallow them. Heh...

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Exhausted

The sound of my footsteps on the wooden floor echoed in a darkened, empty hall. The electronic clock on the wall blinked 8.32pm. I advanced up the stage, towards the backstage. Behind the heavy curtains lies the black beauty, glimmering in the dark. I open its lid to reveal the intricate arrangement of strings and velveted hammers.

In the absence of people, in the dim lights which inflitrated the hall, in the darkness that lingers beyond, in silence, for the restless or peaceful souls, the finger dances around the keys... I can play to my heart's contend.

I love the solace and solitude.

Past two weeks had been particularly a hard period of time. Have been thinking too hard, and trying to find answers which just unearthed even more quetions. First it was about the reality of society, hypocrisy, corporatism... then came the ideas of capitalism, "survival", planning for future... After wednesday, it's the bombastic ideas of postmodernism, of questioning, of thinking what it means to be a human, on values...

My rollarcoaster ride hasn't finished yet. Still many more to come i guess.. there are still so many things that i have yet to know, or figure out. Thoughts thoughts thoughts.. they sure are tiring things..

It seems like no matter how much I rest it'll never be enough. I don't like weekends. I can't study much yet can't rest much at the same time. What am I doing? reading books, playing piano. Oh wells.

Its been a long long while since I last visited the beach. I miss sunrises and stars. Probably will go there one of these days...

Tough it out yc.. u can do it.
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