I feel very sad. I feel that I've been misunderstood, I've been blamed for something that I had no intention in doing, and blamed for not knowing what to do.

Growing up is so painful. You can no longer take I don't know as an explanation. In fact, there is no longer room for explanations. You can no longer do what you think is right, but have to do what others think is right. You get blamed and you have to take it, because that's just the way it is.

I feel like I'm the rope in tug of war, and I'm being pulled both ways, but also blamed by both sides. Do I care too much about how others feel? Or am I too insensitive to handle both sides delicately? I feel that there's so much expectations to live up to. Every time I fail, all my weaknesses became more glaring to myself, so much so that they're blinding my eyes. I can no longer see who I am except the ugly, unconfident, self-pitying freak.

I hate being a human. I hate being a responsible, mature adult. Maybe I'm just not cut out for it.